To understand the link between object permanence and separation anxiety, we must first understand the two developmental concepts independently. This topic is one that is so crucial to understanding infant development. It’s also one that dr. Montessori focused on within her works and the types of materials we offer our babies! But we’ll get to that later.
I actually studied this when I was studying toward my child development degree and this idea was presented by Jean Piaget, who was a child development theorist known for his theory of cognitive development.
So to start, let’s have our quote for the week.
“The current state of knowledge is a moment in history, changing just as rapidly as the state of knowledge in the past has ever changed and, in many instances, more rapidly.”
– Jean Piaget
You’ve heard me talk about this before but everyday the child is a new child. And that’s a Montessori idea that I absolutely love. Not only is it so true for the child but helps our mental approach as well! Everyday they wake up having learned so much from the day before and from the moment before (after all, they are making more than a million neural connections each second)
So this idea encourages the use of observation… and within that discovering who the child reveals themself to be everyday. To begin understanding the time in their life when object permanence and stranger anxiety set in, let’s take a look at understanding each idea individually…
Let’s start with object permanence…
So object permanence is the time in an infants development when they begin to understand the concept that when a person or item disappears (or can’t be experienced through their senses) they still exist. And this usually comes into play between 7-9 mo, again depending on the child because I’ve seen that idea come into play much sooner for some babies.
And it is believed that babies are beginning to form a mental representation of their parents at this time because before this stage, they don’t yet understand that there’s a world outside of their experiences. So before this they only understand the world that is surrounding them in that moment.
They begin to understand that objects remain existing through their complex and evolving understanding of their world. And again they are making millions of mental connections per second so you can imagine that they’re unconsciously working hard to navigate who the world is to them and who they are to the world.
So now you can perhaps start to see how separation anxiety comes into play once object permanence emerges, because babies now understand that people and things continue to exist even when they can’t be sensed.
So let’s jump into Separation Anxiety…
Separation anxiety occurs within infants and toddlers that begins between 7-9 mo but actually can be sooner or later depending on the child.
And separation anxiety is the anxiety that the child has when a parent or caregivers leaves. And babies don’t yet have a sense of time, so that also plays a role in the emergence of this anxiety. I know at least for me most of the time i think of separation anxiety i think in relation to school drop offs. But separation anxiety can happen as you walk to the other room. It can happen when you’re handing them to grandma or grandpa who they’ve seen everyday since they were born.
And these moments are obviously not fun for parent handing baby off or caregiver who is receiving baby. I can tell you that my heart fully tugs for the babies in moments like these.
But there is good news in this and that is that there are things that can help both you and baby as they emerge into this higher level of understanding.
So let’s jump into those!
First, what I tell myself during these moments is in a sense, it’s emergence a good thing. Their brain has learned that mommy daddy grandma grandpa teachers etc. still exist even when they can’t be sensed. They are coming into higher levels of awareness. And that in itself is a beautiful natural thing!
Second, it’s so important to keep calm and peaceful during these moments because, just like every other moment, they will look to us first for their security and feed off of our energy. And obviously there are various situations in which we would handle differently. Like transitioning baby into school or daycare vs having grandma hold them at a family party. But overall, if we are peaceful in our responses and joyful in our return to our babies, that will help them settle in this new idea that you exist outside of their current interactions and that you always come back.
And a way to help you stay calm is by keeping my first point at the forefront of your mind once your child enters this phase. This is a natural part of development. And baby is learning so much about who they are to the world and who the world is to them. And you always come back.
Now there are definitely things we can do to help optimize this time through a Montessori Lens.
Dr. Montessori actually created materials that are specifically to help the understanding of the object permanence concept.
One of these materials is called box with ball. And that is a wooden box with a ramp. It has a hole on top and a hole on the side of the box where the ramp is. And you offer the lesson by showing the child how to pick up the ball, place it over the hole, release your hand, and when you release the ball falls into the hole. And then eventually the ball emerges out of the second hole and rolls to the bottom of the ramp. It supports the idea of object permanence because it shows the child that this ball continues to exist both inside and outside of the box.
There are a few object permanence materials in the Montessori baby material progression and I have those linked in my Montessori baby Shoppe!
You’ll want to use the power of observation to assess where your baby is at in their grasp and task ability to choose the correct material for them because there are object permanence materials for babies starting as it emerges and others for as they grow.
But essentially the materials get progressively more difficult by grasp and task, all with the goal of aiding in that deeper understanding of object permanence.
Another fun thing you can do to help their understanding during this time is peekaboo! Peekaboo is amazing for this because it’s usually done in a fun, together setting with a blanket in front of mom or dad or caregivers face and is amazing not only for this but for language as well as those serve and return experiences.
Basically to summarize this idea, when babies begin to understand that objects and people exist when they can’t be sensed, they learn object permanence. And for many babies, when object permanence kicks in, separation anxiety will kick in in some form as well.
The degree of separation anxiety depends on the child’s temperament combined with the initial environmental responses. And that’s also why it’s so important to learn about this and try to keep the understanding at the forefront of your mind as much as possible.
So to end today’s post, I want to end with a thought… and that is that you are also learning so much everyday just as they are learning so much everyday. Of course their brains are wired for a very specific type of learning but for us, being in their world is just so magical.
As new things emerge constantly as they are rapidly developing. And even for me, having worked with hundreds of babies over my years in the field, I’m always in awe of their magical minds.
